self inside fire

Self destruction

in masses

in corruption

tune in 

not letting out

internal fire 

raging higher

consuming any hope

left within the soul

head is throbbing

Satan's robbing

happiness that may

appear to give hope

1917 fireplace in a basement

What do you do with this
it is a fire place in the basement of a 1917 house.
It is so beautiful but it is not functional
The home now has a furnace in it
I would love to give it some new life
to make the basement beautiful and cozy again
I love the brick work
I love to have this old home become a new gem

Really grandma

Too many pictures for her today I guess.

Artwork by Paulie June 1, 2012

Art work by Paulie April 30, 2012

can you feel it, too

I hate the feeling in my stomachs

The problems I feel in my gut

Something big is going to happen

Traumatic caterpillars twisted and turned

started before Paris erupted.

 I felt it, the ripple                            It was prominent!

I couldn't prevent what happened

Black veil of malevolent turmoils 

I feel far beyond where                          I exist.

Can't find quiet

Can't find peace

Only chaos                                   within my being

The screams, the yells,
the panic, the mayhem.

Every word

spoken or                                         thought

Every letter 

Texted or typed

Wondering                                         of . . .

Second guess                              every move

Every time                           walking in those shoes

Which way to think                       which way 

Do I need to go?                        who will lose?

Where hope . . .many not

Life support                              only waiting

the other shoe to fall

                                                 eventually

D
    r
         o
              p

The name

My name  Silver wine                    

The name Silver wine was developed by my brother, St. Nic of Detroit, aka Nicodemus, Chongo, James Chongo Houvener (among other name).

I asked for help from him and he gave it to me freely.  I never had anyone critique my writing because I was scared of others making fun of it or worse yet all the personal hurts that I experienced would then be exposed.  Kinda like standing in the middle of town with no cloths on feeling.  I was lost in my life, at that time, when he decided to help me develop my writing.  I could not trust anyone, at least looking at my writing, and in many areas of my life I found out later.

Stepping back a few, prior to the name inception, I was a house wife with two children.  I had always written poems, stories, plays, essays and different types of material for emotional outlet and release.  I had books and journals always scattered around where ever I was.  My best friends in my times of great sorrow and disparity were dictionaries and a thesaurus.  I met St. Nic at a graduation party in 1984 at that time his brother was was my boyfriend of about 1 month.  St. Nic was always really mysterious but most of all he was an artist.  He wrote music, played in his own band, and was very colorful in nature.  The tattoos were amazing and his music somewhat psychedelic but moving.  I was sort of a wild spirit and he warned his brother that I could be a handful.  His insight was always spot on!  Later on in his life he developed inoperable brain cancer.  

His battles with cancer were always one step into the grave while still trying to be a loving husband and father as well as a musician and artist.  We were never really too close in the beginning because our contact had been few and far between events. About 7 years passed and there I sat in marriage with two children.  I was in a mode because our household because my husband worked quite a bit and I did not have a job outside the home.  I found myself trying to find purpose again as a person.   Not remembering how we actually started talking again, I think it was just after Christmas dinner at the in-laws.  

I decided to help out my brother because it seemed like something I could do to make a difference.  My husband would go to work in Detroit. After I would drop him off I would drive to St. Nics home with the kids.  Sometimes I would take him to doctors, the pharmacy, the store or some days back to my house just to get him out of his because his days became so long.  I would basically share what my family had because that was what you did, help family, right? After a while I felt comfortable letting him see my work.  He put together a mixture of my poems, edited them and critiqued them.  He looked over their format and content of what many I had written. After some time, he told me to get it published by what ever means I could and get my work out there at different venues.  

Life then got very complicated because I went in too many directions. So that is for another time.  As for the name here is what he stated about why he felt silver wine was a good pen name for me.

Silver is a precious metal I was precious to him and his family because I was there helping and enjoying life with them.

Silver has malleable qualities and with my writing he found that I was quickly learning from the tips he had given me.

Silver has the highest know electrical and thermal conductivity of all the metals - he told me that I was a very loving person who gave warmth to all that knew me. 

Silver has reflective qualities and he felt my work always reflected the real me.

As for wine when it ages and is better with time.  He looked over much of my writing and from what I had produced in the 80's compared to what I was writing in the 90's he felt just kept getting better.

So as of now, I am working on my self again.  The writing does not flow like it did but I do have a book of poems to finish.  I had it on a word processer back then now I have to start over once more putting them in a system to print.  Maybe before was not my time.  St. Nic has now passed away from his cancer but I still have the book of poems in the same setup that he sent it to me in, literally the same mailing envelope.  I have intermittently started and stopped this poem book and will finish it with his name on it as intended.  

So that is what is all about the name Silver wine.  Thank you Nicodemus, Spidy & Blu for welcoming me into your family!

• http://facebook.com/stnicofdetroit

Check out - It's Just another day - The Webcomic
Bringing you closer to a man and his son of vision

IV in your hand

IV's are terrible when they are done by people who think they know what they are doing.

I hate bruise on my hand

I hate the pain of the needle going into other areas they are not suppose to be. In those spots have no veins or

When they move it around to find the right spot.  

The bruising and the pain do not go away for weeks.  

My hands are my source of feeling.

  The touch of warmth.  

I need my hands to write 

I need my hands to sew

I need my hands to read books

Warm soothing water

 a good soak

Any other suggestions?

The Lady of the Lake by Sir Walter Scott

Did you ever wonder why some books are just sitting around waiting for someone to read?  I love book and even though we have the ability to read them on our tablet, computer, phone or some other electronic devise, pages turned by my finger always seems more fun.   I have a book that I bought at a second hand store in 2013 by Walter Scott called The Lady of the Lake.   It is pretty cool that we have a drawn figure on the book.  Keeping books in good shape can be difficult with children but it does give more character to the surface.

His name has a Sir in front of it so now he is called Sir Walter Scott from Edinburgh, Scottland.  Born August 15th 1771 and died in Roxburgh, Scottland, September, 21st, 1832. (1)

Canto Second

The Island

XXXI

There are who have, at midnight hour,
In slumber scaled a dizzy tower, 
And, on the verge that beetled o'er
The ocean Tide's incessant roar            695
Dreamed calmly out their dangerous dream,
Till wakened by the morning beam;
When, dazzled by the eastern glow,
Such startler cast his glance below,
And saw unmeasured depth around,      700
And heard unintermitted sound,
And thoughtthe battled fence so frail,
It waved like cobweb in the gale;
Admid his senses' giddy wheel,
Did he not desperate impulse feel,         705
Headlong to plunge himself below,
And meet the worst his fears foreshow?
Thus Ellen, dizzy and astound,
As sudden ruin yawned around,
By crossing terrors wildly tossed,          710
Still for the Douglas fearing most,
Could scarce the desperate thought withstand,
To buy his safety with her hand.

Sir Walter began writing this in August 1809 while on holiday with his family.  He was in Trossachs by the shores and islands of Loch Katrine. (2)

The poem was the struggles between King James V and the powerful Douglas clan.  This struggle began because of the banishment from his realm they received from the King.  

My thoughts on this part of the poem talks about the love affair between the James of Douglas's daughter Ellen and Malcolm Graeme.  In the full canto of the island you can see the blossoming of their love.    For Ellen is in the Dru castle tower.  Malcolm thinks of her while she sleeps and all the misery on the outside yet calmly she sleeps until the morning eastern glow.  She would only hear small sounds of him with the thought that he must go.  He feels like he went into her heart, as she did in his, too fast and their fears of having problems with the clan chief Rodrick Dru.  Still he had faith that their love will see them through.  No matter how desperate the situation was, he felt fortunate knowing that when they are hand in hand he felt safe.

This is totally different from what many think it is.  This is not part of the King Aurther Ledgend.  Nevertheless it still is beautiful and powerful to read.

1. Sir Walter Scott, 1st Baronet. (2015). In Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved from http://www.britannica.com/biography/Sir-Walter-Scott-1st-Baronet
2. Walter Scott 

walterscott.lib.ed.ac.uk

Nature

Wild Sunflower

Full Moon to eclipse 2015

Shell Creek Falls, Wyoming       

Fall 2015

Ava Looking at fall

Fall Open Road 2015

Fall Tree colors

Momma & Daddy together 

Sweet williams