Today when I look back at these pictures, it is really not half bad. I always was too hard on my self. Probably because my mother was always so hard on me.
I understand why she was so hard now, I needed to be a strong woman with conviction. I needed the tough love so I would not end up soft and always wanting stuff from others. To suck it up and just do it my self.
My self esteem did not help grow with that type of love but I also had to figure out what would work for me as well. No one can tell me how to be, how to act, what to do or even who I really am except me.
Difference in meaning
The graduation of the language of the teachings - haughty, relaxed, rising, descending - are not the same. What are called desires and aversions, when one is not yet enlightened or liberated are called enlightened wisdom after enlightenment. That is why it is said, "One is not different from one who used to be; only one's course of action is different from before".
- Pai-chang
When your children leave the nest than your heart is always some place else. You miss hugging and holding those children that have always brought peace and love to your life.
You really have to know your own fundamental mind before you can stop and rest. If you know you mind and arrive at the fundamental, that is like space merging with space.
- Ta-tu
Of all the different things I have tried to do creatively I still have trouble focusing on just one thing. My mind goes all over the place deciding from day to day what to do. I have so much homework at the end of a semester. Yet before I ever begin on any day, I have to write something for fun or I feel like my writing is useless.
Like these drawings from the past. I never thought they were ever good enough to share with anyone. Like my poems, stories or inner thoughts. What good are they to anyone if I can't believe in myself as the strong independent woman my mother wanted me to be.
Cleary, T. F. (1999) The Pocket Zen Reader. Boston: Shambhala, pages 36 & 116. Print.
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